Note: Videos are for general content for
each individual to check out for themselves.
by Back Office Volunteer :Roy: :Thompson.
Most everything is not in our personal control. We do not know the vastness of what it is that we do not know.
However we can choose and plan how we want to think about, make the most of and enjoy what is reality right now.
This can be the difference between our experiencing depression or happiness.
One way to better manage events that are not in our control is to learn the
5 Question of "Am I Believing A Lie". You'll find a link bottom of this page.
Another way is to identify those things we can do something about, such as:
> 1) How we would like to generally act, think, evaluate and react in situations.
Making an Exhaustive list of situations not in our control is not in our abilities to do because again, we do not know what we do not know. So Do Not Try to do that!!! LOL
However, a few biggies listing may work wonders on are, ie.
> A) Dating,
> B) Marriage,
> C) Raising Children,
> D) Loving and
> E) being of real help to our neighbors.
Planning, Learning, Practicing may work wonders on the final outcome of everyone of these.
> 2) Not wasting time thinking about solutions for situations we have no authority or control over.
“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” Benjamin Franklin
> 3) We can plan our work and work our plan. The fact is the more reasonable and appropriate time we spend in setting goals and planning, the lest time we will spend in facing avaunt (go away, depart, leave me alone) situations.
We are our best and happiest when we are:
> 1) engaged in work we enjoy,
> 2) doing work we love doing
> 3) pursuing our personally chosen journeys
> 4) making progress toward our personally planned out and clearly defined goals
> 5) doing that we have chosen for ourselves. All of These 1-5 give meaning to our leisure time and comfort to our sleep while making everything in our lives more enjoyable, beneficial and worthwhile.
How to Get, Keep & Have A Happy Life
SETTING GOALS, WORTHY, ATTAINABLE GOALS FOR DATING:
You and only you may choose the things you want to include in your, "Personal Dating Portfolio of Experiences" from this day forward.
Without a easily understandable and clearly defined worthy goal you will be lead by one situation and then another and most often arrive at destinations you neither would have chosen for yourself are anyone you really care about.
With an easily understandable and clearly defined goal you will more readily:
> 1) recognize those situations designed to deter and detour you away from your valuable and worthy goal.
> 2) continue to make progress under the worst of circumstances in the most heart breaking, dangerous and treacherous situations.
"The big thing is that you know what you want."
Before discussing the BIG ELEPHANT in the room, "SEX" let's look at some attributes of setting goals.
of Goal Setting
> 1) Challenging:
Your goals should be realistic and suited to your present capabilities. You can’t go from habitual couch potato to world-class athlete overnight, or recover the “look” you had in your 20's if you’re pushing 60 right now.
> 2) Attainable:
Don't take the challenging characteristic (above) too far. Make sure you can actually achieve what you're setting out to do. Otherwise, you will get frustrated and quit the pursuit of your chosen destination. Small, progressive steps toward reasonable, long-term goals are crucial to joyful living. But your goals should also push you to extend yourself beyond where you already are.
> 3) Specific:
Trying to "do your best" or "do better" is like trying to eat the actual hole in the middle of a donut. There's nothing there to chew on or to digest. You need to define some very specific, very concrete, and easily measurable action-steps that tell you, show you, demonstrate what your goal actually looks like in real-life terms. Include how you will recognizably measure your results so you can know for sure whether you are getting anywhere or not.
> 4) Time-limited:
Goals need to come with some deadlines, some due dates, and payoff schedules. Otherwise, your goals will fade into the background along with your daily hub-bubble to do, and you'll quit the pursuit of your dreams, your chosen goals. If your long-term goals is going to take an extended time to reach, create some smaller intermediate- and short-term goals. These will make your larger goal seem much less daunting and keep you focused on what you can do today, here and now to best help yourself get there.
> 5) Positive:
Goals should always be framed in the most positive of terms. Humans are not designed to fret white-knuckle style through life, always fretting, worrying to not do things or to avoid certain unpleasant thoughts, feelings, actions or circumstances. We are much better at approaching what we DO want than avoiding what we don't want.
> 6) Flexible:
Good strategies and goals are always flexible, because nothing in this world ever stays the same for very long, and staying alive, and functionally progressive and on course means being adaptable to changing circumstances.
> 7) THIS IS YOUR LIFE, GO FOR IT!
THESE ARE YOUR CLEARLY DEFINED GOALS! BE FLEXIBLE AND NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! GIVE UP!!!
THE SEX ELEPHANT IS TRUMPETING TO US:
WHAT QUALITY AND QUANTITY
OF SEX DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?
> 1) None At All
> 2) Poor
> 3) Fair
> 4) Good
> 5) Very Good
> 6) Better or
> 7) The Best There Is?
A Question you may want to ask yourself and learn the real answer to is, "Why Not?, The Best There Is?"
Discovering the reason behind your answer could impact you life in a very positive manner toward mental, emotional and clarity of cognitive reality and your general health.
If your answer is, "The Best There Is!
Then you will want to learn everything about, "The Best There Is!
This is how you will know what it really is you have turned into a clearly understood and defined goal.
This way you will know in you mind and heart your goal has become a reality in your life when you are experiencing it.
The best place to begin is right here reading everything and listening to all the videos on this webpage
"Love and Dating"
and to your right, "Love and Marriage"
and then on all the links provided.
Whatever Your Past,
Leave It Behind You.
ie. I am 66 years old, been married before from 1971 to 1986 and have had sex before marriage, during marriage with my wife and after our separation more than once. I have been celibate since 1997 when I was called to be a volunteer for Ministers of Love.
I am very happy being single and who I am with my hearing, speaking, reading, writing, cognitive recognitional disables, economics, physical health and social wherewithal etc...
I love what I am doing as a Volunteer for Ministers of Love and I have been blessed with the most wonderful daughter any man could ever be blessed with.
So What I would like to have, What I Want! is "The Best Sex There Is".
My plan is to use the information posted on the webpages here to go after my goal of having the best sex ever!
Therefore: I Plan To:
> 1) Date for learning by practicing listening, understanding, communicating and joyfully having wholesome fun with others.
> 2) French Kiss my new wife for the first time when we began our convent marriage. Sex is everything you would not want to see your spouse doing with someone else, ie. french kissing.
> 3) Consummate our marriage with loving each other and enjoying all the pleasures that our loving one another brings to both of us, After we have worked through the Book and Workbook, "TOO CLOSE TOO SOON" you will find below.
NOTE: Having sex, Consummating, Clinging to one another, getting intimate sexually, getting to close physically to soon, before you get to know each other interpersonally has been a source of:
< A) Many diverse and shocking revelations in couples lives that create a much higher rate of:
< B) Confusion,
< C) Conflict,
< D) Concern sometimes with dissuading disgust and
< E) Divorce
All lessening gratification in sexual intimacy. Which we all want to avoid! Yea!
> 4) Enjoy loving and parenting any and all the children Our Creator of All Things, Always Loving Daddy may bless us with and all the joyful pleasures this brings to both of us.
> 5) Enjoy Loving and being of real help to our neighbors and all the joyful pleasures this brings to both of us.
I do not and encourage you to not, waste any time thinking about things done wrong in the past years since 0+ or just a few minutes ago.
I am not concerned with making mistakes, doing wrong or sinning, my being human gives me a choice. Making mistakes, doing wrong things, goofing up and:
> 1) Feeling Shameful, Kicking Myself, Scolding myself or
> 2) Accepting Myself as I am with being covered with no condemnation and unlimited and unconditional love and acceptance as someone who cast my anxieties, worries, failures, short comings, wrong doings onto The Resurrected Messiah because He cares for me.
> 1) ABOVE is the same as Peter taking his eyes off The Resurrected Messiah (Pure Love and Pure Truth) while He was walking on water coming toward the boat Peter was in.
Peter taking his focus off of The Resurrected Messiah, off of Pure Love and Pure Truth whom there is complete acceptance and unconditional Love in and placed the look target focus onto the circumstances, situation and sin potential of sinking failure caused Peter to begin sinking back into the water. NOT COOL! Matthew 14:22-33
> 2) ABOVE is yielding to "Being Called Out" of our graves (our graves of focusing on the Negative Sinful, off the Mark of Unconditional Non-Condemning Pure Love and Truth onto the feelings and circumstances of shame, wrong doings, sinfulness = what other people think about instead of listening to The Pure Love and Pure Truth of The Resurrected Messiah).
Listen to your being Called Out "like Lazarus" heard the "Calling Out" after being dead for four days (48 hours) and walk out of your tomb of self condemnation (Feelings of Condemnation and Shame). Which is actually a way of deceiving ourselves, that we can manage the situation ourselves without the need of a Savior with just us and the Father of Lies. John 11:38-44 "DA" This Never Worked Out for Me! How about You?
Quantum Physics of Consciousness proved the minds of the researchers where effecting the results of the experiments making Einsteins E = MC Squared Theory of General Relativity not enough to hold in predictability.
Realizing this Einstein said, "Anyone who becomes seriously involved in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that there is a spirit manifest in the laws of the universe, a spirit superior to that of man." Albert Einstein
In my opinion Einstein's contribution that will always hold in predictability is, "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein. i.e. Self Introspective Condemnation.
In my opinion most of the shame and guilt and not being satisfied with being myself experienced by me and every alive cognitive created being has not one thing to do with:
> 1) Our Always Loving, Never Condemning, Always Attentive, Always Present, Empowering, Abba Father, "Daddy" Creator of All Things (Who is Pure Spirit, Pure Love and Pure Truth) and
> 2) His Extension of His Pure Spirit, Pure Love and Pure Truth, The Resurrected Messiah who willing became the solution for all creations identifying with us by sharing in the maximum of our sufferings for bringing us into their family and thereby securing for us forgiveness and a forever immortal body with a victorious joyful life forever. John 3:17, John 12:47, John 3:17.
I encourage you to become bold in setting your goals as high as you reasonably and appropriately can with boldness based on your trusting all of your feelings of shame, anxieties, worries and wows on to The Resurrected Messiah, thanking Him for His desire to become your Savior from The Family of Deceptions and Become, Your Very Best Friend and Your Brother just for your asking.
The Pure Spirit, Pure Love and Pure Truth, Creator of All Things is taking even our willingness to be willing to trust Him with our anxieties, cares and troubles...
THIS IS YOUR LIFE, THE CREATOR OF ALL THINGS YOUR ABBA FATHER, ALWAYS LOVING DADDY HAS YOUR BACK. BOLDLY GO FOR IT!
lagniappe or lagnappe noun
1. ) Chiefly Southern Louisiana and Southeast Texas. a small gift given with a purchase to a customer, by way of compliment or for good measure; bonus.
2. ) a gratuity or tip.
3. ) an unexpected or indirect benefit.